Fun List Fridays

We Present: Random Lists of Distinctly Selected Items. If you would like to contribute a list, please email us and include your list, list title, and post name in the body of the email. We do not discriminate or edit.

Monday, February 28, 2005


1. Bartenders who never give you a free drink: What the fuck, I've been at the bar for like 3 hours and I'm sloppy brown, cut me some slack and thrown me a Bud heavy.
2. College kids who wear actual pajama pants to the dining hall: I don't know about you but when im in my pj's im usually sporting wood and im thinking about beating my dick like I caught it breaking into my house and anal bombing my girlfriend.
3. Dunkin Donuts: You never seem to have the only thing I came here for, the sugared jelly. p.s. Your coffee sucks and your munchkins are overrated.
4. McDonalds breakfast ending at 10:30am: This is just stupid. Why not get crazy, serve breakfast all day, 24/7, and start blowing these other queebs like Wendy's, Burger King, and Subway the fuck out of here. p.s the Happy Meals need cooler toys.
5. People who do not have EZPass in their cars: I can give two shits when I drive right by you fucking suckers.
6. Guys who are too big of pussies to just present wang when a girls being a prude: Just get it out in the open guys and she will think of something.
7. Chicks who cock block at the bars: This is when some chick who wants your dick tries to hang out with you the entire night at the bar so that other chicks I wanna bone think I am with this dumbass. Not cool biatch. p.s. Brush your teeth.
8. The Penny: When are we going to get rid of this fucking fossil?
9. The Million Dollar Baby: This is the BEST picture of the year? Clint Eastwood trains Hillary Swank to box. I just don't see why this hit it big and the Next Karate Kid didn't. Mr. Miagi would fuck up Clints old ass balls.
10. Lil' John: Your a pussy. Remember when I bumped into you on Spring break in a club in Panama City Florida and I was like 5 feet taller than you and I thought your gay little pimp cup was an ash tray? Real hard you lil bitch.

- Taking a dump
- Rubbing a quick guyster
- Practice my metal bass face in the mirror
- Mining for keef
- Tuning my air guitar
- Organizing my 80's VHS collection in alphabetical order
- Pointing out the misfortune of others for personal amusement
- Rotating roller-blade wheels
- Trying to memorize every Dokken lyric recorded..ever.
- Contact Sly Stallone about possible sequel to "Over the top" with a never been done before, TRIPLE training montage.

10.Kip Winger: Could have made 9 if it was Kippy Winger.
9. White Lion: Might as well be Pink Unicorn.
8. Nelson: Two wrongs don't make a right ladies.
7. Faster Pussycat: Not even close.
6. FireHouse
5. Kid Rock: "I take hip-hop, and I mix it with the Hop-scotch,..." what a pussy.
4. Autograph: Kid: Hey I got the lead singers autograph!
Friend: Whats his name?
Kid: I don't know? He signed it, "Autograph".
3. L.A. Guns: What are you guys?.... A gym?
2. Saigon Kick: What the hell is a Saigon? At least give me a roundhouse Double Dragon Style.
1. Glass Tiger: Why would you pick Glass Tiger, when you could be Steel Dragon?

Friday, February 11, 2005


1. Close Talker: Are you serious? Back the fuck up bitch!
2. When the airplane lands and the fasten seatbelt sign goes off, I hate when every single person stands up and goes crazy for the over head as if they are really going tro get anywhere faster. Sit the fuck down and be patient you rookie waste of spaces.
3. Ketchup Packets: What the fuck, not enough Ketchup.
4. Bags of chips that are not filled up all the way to the top. This is one of the biggest disapointments that man faces. When I am totally Baaa--kaaayed, I am dreaming of that day when those Cool Ranch Doritos are going to be overflowing out of the bag when I open it. Man I would spunk!
5. Chicks with little mustaches: What the fuck is going on here. I don't get it. If you spend so much fucking time getting ready at night, how can you miss something as big and noticeable as lip hair. I mean haven't you gone out at night and seen some girl that had like a little Sellick peach fuzz going on and you were like "man how can she not notice that thing?". Well guess what Mattingly, your that same bitch. I mean this is truely mind boggling. If you are wondering why you didn't make out last night at the bar during the Kevin Lyttle Jam session, maybe you should take a closer look in the mirror you sloppy rebo.
6. Guys who over exagerate their downtown shitty Boston accents at the bar because they think it will HELP them get chicks. You need to reevaluate your life goals you stinky pikers.
7. Hand Jobs: This is crazy. What makes a girl think I want her to give me a hand? I can do a better job lefty sweetheart, why don't you make like a vacuum please.
8. Girls who ask for one of your t-shirts, sweatshirts,sweatpants,shorts,ect. after a hook upand then never give it back. Most of the time it is something we wear often because it was nearby. Weeks will go by and they know you know they have it and that we are too much of pussies to ask for it back. Guess what bitch I want my Poison 87' tour shirt back or else.
9. The "O.C." Any guy who considers even watching this show once is 100% gay. And don't give me that " I watch it because the chicks are hot" bullshit. Chicks are hot in porno fruitholes.
Number 10 is a tie
10 A. "Hot chick with ugly friend" : I don't think it is fair to hang out with an ugly chick on purpose just so you look hotter. Also you are forcing man to go into battles that we were not planning on heading into when we are forced to jump on that grenade for our comrades. INCOMMING!!!
10 B. Judge Judy

Reason 1: He told me he had his first wet dream while his younger brother was in the bed.
Reason 2: He is the only one of our friends who has been to the bar "Monkey" in Winooski VT that we all think is a gay bar but we really don't know because why would we go check it out if we thought it was a gay bar?
Reason 3: Whenever we are at a party or bar and the scene is pretty weak he always suggests we hit up "Monkey" thinking if we are drunk maybe we will go.
Reason 4: While we we're watching our friends roast some chick, he told me all he could look at was his roomate cumming.
Reason 5: While watching ESPN he stated that he was "feeling" Brady Andersons side burns.
Reason 6: Read reasons 1 through 5 again.
Reason 7: Reason 4
Reason 8: Reason 1
Reason 9: Seriously though, reason 2
Reason 10: Ok, reason 4

Saturday, February 05, 2005


Terry Guy Minetti
Tico Guy Minetti
Timmy Guy Minetti
Tommy Guy Minetti
Ted Guy Minetti
Thor Guy Minetti
Tec Guy Minetti
Tee Guy Minetti
Turk Guy Minetti
Theo Guy Minetti
Tino Guy Minetti
Tony Guy Minetti
Tough Guy Minetti