1. Close Talker: Are you serious? Back the fuck up bitch!
2. When the airplane lands and the fasten seatbelt sign goes off, I hate when every single person stands up and goes crazy for the over head as if they are really going tro get anywhere faster. Sit the fuck down and be patient you rookie waste of spaces.
3. Ketchup Packets: What the fuck, not enough Ketchup.
4. Bags of chips that are not filled up all the way to the top. This is one of the biggest disapointments that man faces. When I am totally Baaa--kaaayed, I am dreaming of that day when those Cool Ranch Doritos are going to be overflowing out of the bag when I open it. Man I would spunk!
5. Chicks with little mustaches: What the fuck is going on here. I don't get it. If you spend so much fucking time getting ready at night, how can you miss something as big and noticeable as lip hair. I mean haven't you gone out at night and seen some girl that had like a little Sellick peach fuzz going on and you were like "man how can she not notice that thing?". Well guess what Mattingly, your that same bitch. I mean this is truely mind boggling. If you are wondering why you didn't make out last night at the bar during the Kevin Lyttle Jam session, maybe you should take a closer look in the mirror you sloppy rebo.
6. Guys who over exagerate their downtown shitty Boston accents at the bar because they think it will HELP them get chicks. You need to reevaluate your life goals you stinky pikers.
7. Hand Jobs: This is crazy. What makes a girl think I want her to give me a hand? I can do a better job lefty sweetheart, why don't you make like a vacuum please.
8. Girls who ask for one of your t-shirts, sweatshirts,sweatpants,shorts,ect. after a hook upand then never give it back. Most of the time it is something we wear often because it was nearby. Weeks will go by and they know you know they have it and that we are too much of pussies to ask for it back. Guess what bitch I want my Poison 87' tour shirt back or else.
9. The "O.C." Any guy who considers even watching this show once is 100% gay. And don't give me that " I watch it because the chicks are hot" bullshit. Chicks are hot in porno fruitholes.
Number 10 is a tie
10 A. "Hot chick with ugly friend" : I don't think it is fair to hang out with an ugly chick on purpose just so you look hotter. Also you are forcing man to go into battles that we were not planning on heading into when we are forced to jump on that grenade for our comrades. INCOMMING!!!
10 B. Judge Judy