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Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Biggest Beef with Rushhour Traffic (Source2)

Even if I leave work early at 5 I will be in traffic until 6. If I leave at 6 I will be in traffic until 7. There is no escape.

When the person in front of me squirts their washer fluid and it gets on my front windsheild. This shit drives me nuts especially after I just washed and waxed my rigarelli.

People who think they have the power to navigate through the traffic. It is so funny to watch them almost kill 3 people to only make an improvement of 4 cars. I always flip the bird when I drive by these amateurs because I stayed in my lane. Then when the traffic dies out and they think they can take me, I blast the Spanish station and blow by them.

People who try to make some ground by taking the shoulder. I usually just move over half way so that they can not get by. Then when they continue to honk. I just blast the Spanish station again and ignore them. Sometimes I will even pretend I am getting road head.

People who slam on their brakes so often as if someone was giving them fucking money every time they do it. The reality is that they are just so fucking impatient they keep pulling the "speed up, brake hard maneuver" which is total bullshit, especially because my rigarelli is manual.

Once I finally get to my exit, I am usually in jeapordy of being pulled over for either speeding because I was just in traffic so long, not signalling, crossing a double yellow line to pass a school bus, or for pretending to get road head while getting a noise violation for blasting the Spanish station too loud. Also I am at risk of being shot at when I drive through the poor Spanish neighborhood that is on the way to my house, because I am rocking the Spanish station and I lack a Bandana and a tiny mustache. Also I am not sweating.