1. Bartenders who never give you a free drink: What the fuck, I've been at the bar for like 3 hours and I'm sloppy brown, cut me some slack and thrown me a Bud heavy.
2. College kids who wear actual pajama pants to the dining hall: I don't know about you but when im in my pj's im usually sporting wood and im thinking about beating my dick like I caught it breaking into my house and anal bombing my girlfriend.
3. Dunkin Donuts: You never seem to have the only thing I came here for, the sugared jelly. p.s. Your coffee sucks and your munchkins are overrated.
4. McDonalds breakfast ending at 10:30am: This is just stupid. Why not get crazy, serve breakfast all day, 24/7, and start blowing these other queebs like Wendy's, Burger King, and Subway the fuck out of here. p.s the Happy Meals need cooler toys.
5. People who do not have EZPass in their cars: I can give two shits when I drive right by you fucking suckers.
6. Guys who are too big of pussies to just present wang when a girls being a prude: Just get it out in the open guys and she will think of something.
7. Chicks who cock block at the bars: This is when some chick who wants your dick tries to hang out with you the entire night at the bar so that other chicks I wanna bone think I am with this dumbass. Not cool biatch. p.s. Brush your teeth.
8. The Penny: When are we going to get rid of this fucking fossil?
9. The Million Dollar Baby: This is the BEST picture of the year? Clint Eastwood trains Hillary Swank to box. I just don't see why this hit it big and the Next Karate Kid didn't. Mr. Miagi would fuck up Clints old ass balls.
10. Lil' John: Your a pussy. Remember when I bumped into you on Spring break in a club in Panama City Florida and I was like 5 feet taller than you and I thought your gay little pimp cup was an ash tray? Real hard you lil bitch.