Fun List Fridays

We Present: Random Lists of Distinctly Selected Items. If you would like to contribute a list, please email us funlistfridays@gmail.com and include your list, list title, and post name in the body of the email. We do not discriminate or edit.

Monday, March 29, 2004

JOE ROGAN'S LIFETIME ROLE MODELS(Source2 & LHawk)

Dan Cortez- "MTV Sports" was Joe's second favorite show.

Eric Nies-"The Grind" was his first favorite show.

Ryan Seacreast-Even though he wouldn't like to admit.

Dean Cain

Adam Corolla-Obvious reasons and reasons are girls jumping on trapolines.

Donnie Whalberg-"The Right Stuff" was The Rogenator's favorite song.

Uncle Jesse-He's everyone's role model.

Sly Stallone-Because the Rogenstein's favorite movie is "Oscar". He thinks it the funniest thing Stallone has ever done. Ever.

Patrick Dempsey-Roganbone wishes he would deliver him a pizza with extra anchioves.

Art Mann- Rogan wishes he could be wild on E with this Rob Blake look a like.

REAL MOVIE WITH SLOGAN OR FAKE MOVIE WITH BETTER SLOGAN(Source2 & LHawk)

The system gave him a raw deal. NOBODY gives him a raw deal. Arnold Schwarzenegger in..Raw Deal.

If you're crazy about magic, hot for action, ready for romance, and wild about winning, this movie is for you..Pete Billingsley in...The Dirt Bike Kid

Trapped in time, surrounded by evil, low on gas...Bruce Campbell in...Army of Darkness

In a futuristic society, a sword-wielding roller skater fights evil ninjas, punk roller skaters and is sent on an important rescue mission...Frank Stallone is the Black Knight in...The Roller Blade Seven

Crime is the disease. Meet the Cure.....Sly Stallone is...Cobra

In Space No One Can Eat Ice Cream!...Killer Klowns from Outerspace

There are no enemies. There is no glory. This fight is one on one....Jean Claude van Damme in...Black Eagle

Jean Claude Van Damme in...Maximum Risk....The Other Side of Safety

Sudden Death...Terror goes into over-time....Jean Claude van Damme

A hometown kid on his BMX against the best in the world. At Helltrack... the heat is on.....in Rad

WHAT IS CURRENTLY IN THE 5 CD CHANGER OF THE OTHER DAD FROM "MY 2 DADS" NOT PAUL RIESER.(Source2)

The motion soundtrack to "HAIR"
Toto's Greatest Hits
Menudo Live
Yanni
The best of the Beegees
ALTERNATIVE ENDINGS TO THE MOVIE 'TITANIC'


The ship doesn't hit the iceburg, but everyone still dies. Cause there's a fire in 3rd class.

Leonardo DiCaprio has a 'What's Eating Gilbert Grape' flashback and goes all "Arnie" retarded and climbs up the steam tower. The captain goes on the deck to try and get him to come down. While away from the wheel the ship crashes into the iceburg.

Titanic come under seige by some disillusioned ex-Marines whose mission it is to launch nuclear weapons at the White House. Fortunately for the passengers there is hope on board in the lowly position of a cook. A cook who happens to be a Navy S.E.A.L.. A cook named Casey Ryback.

Bill Paxton get 90 year old Rose drunk on whiskey sours and fucks her in the submersible. The fat guy with the beard gives him so much shit the next morning that he jumps overboard and drowns himself.

Early on in the voyage when Rose tries to commit suicide by jumping off the back of the ship, DiCaprio rushes to save her but upon closer inspection notices that she's a severe butterface. Decides not to save her. Pretty boy Billy Zane is sad at first, but then he and Leo talk about all of the hotter chicks they've fucked in Hollywood in a weird 'Reality' sequence. Then the movie resumes and the boat goes back to England. Dicaprio's character still bums a smoke from Hockley's butler!

Rose strips from her robe so Jack could draw her wearing nothing but the
coeur de la mer and her luscious curves. And she has a hairy dick. DiCaprio stabs her in the jugular with his sharpened turquoise pastelle.

Friday, March 26, 2004

REASONS TO BREAK UP WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND

He listens to Good Charlotte
You come home from work one evening and he's laid out on the couch with a big ol' cock in his mouth

REASON WHY ZACH MORRIS WAS COOLER THAN ALBERT CLIFFORD SLATER:(Source2)

Zach's high tops are the shit compared to Slaters double buckle stoned wash jeans.
Zach's hair was way sweeter than Slater's Jerry Curl Express
Zach didn't have to play sports to get chicks.(Slater wore spandex on wrestling team? Kinda suspect dont you think?)
Zach dated Kelly the majority of episodes and also managed to hook up with Jesse (while she was dating Slater), Lisa (fully knowing Screetch, his best friend, loved her), and J.B. (Slater's little sister). Enough said--Morris is Spanish Fly
Even in the college years when slater went for the short hair look to get rid of his curls, Zach blows him away when he goes for the long sweet surfer hair look.
Slater dates that ugly annoying girl in the college years, while Zach snags Kelly once again.
Zach was in the middle school years, Slater wasn't.
Zach was in tight with Johnny Dakoda, while Slater struck out at the Hollywood party at Johnny's house.
Zach sold more poster pin ups than Slater from the start of the show until present day.

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

STDS AND THEIR CORRESPONDING MOVIE THEATER CANDY TREATS

Gonohrea (the clap)//Milky Ways
Crabs//Sno-Caps
Herpes//Skittles
Genital Warts (Male)//Goobers
Genital Warts (Female)//Raisinettes
L'il Penis//Snickers



MOVIES IN WHICH KURT RUSSEL HAS A TANK TOP AND A MULLET

Escape From NY
Escape From LA
Overboard
Big Trouble In Little China
Tango & Cash
Captain Ron




VARIATIONS ON THE NAME OF MY HIGH SCHOOL CHEM LAB PARTNER, TED ACKERMANN

Ed Tackermann
Said Bickermann
Burt Backermann
White Blackerthann
F.E.D. C.I.Ackermann
Todd Hackermann Esq.


WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT I'VE OFFERED BUT HAVEN'T MEANT (WHOLEHEARTEDLY)

"You're sweet"
"That T.V. show idea sounds sweet"
"Sure, go talk to her"/"I think she likes you"
"I think she just checked you out"
"That shirt doesn't make you look gay...It makes you look European"
"Your dad's a nice guy"
"Of course you're cuter than your little 17 year old sister over there in her skimpy pajamas. Is she really only 17?"
"That demo you gave me is, like, a raw version of Radiohead"
"That demo you gave me is, like, The Stones. But the next step"
"You're girlfriend is cute...oh really, well, you're dog is really cute. No, seriously"


'MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE' SPINOFFS AND THE NETWORKS THAT CARRY THEM

Malcolm in the Middle of Two Swedish Pornstars//(Playboy)
Malcolm in the Middle of Two Guys Named Tony and Rico//(Bravo)
Malcolm in the Middle of Steel Magnolias//(Lifetime)
Malcolm in the Middle of a peanut butter and bologna sandwich//(Food Network)
Malcolm in the Midst of a Nervous Breakdown//(Fox)
Malcolm in the process of heiling Hitler//(The History Channel)
Malcolm in the Middle of a Jimmy Eat World lyric//(Mtv)
Malcolm in the Middle of a Jimmy Eat World retrospective//(VH1)
Malcolm in the Middle of a coke binge//(E!)
Malcolm in the Mud//(Discovery Channel)
Malcolm X in the Middle//(WB)
Malcolm X in the Middle of two Puerto Rican girls pretending to be black sisters//(UPN)


BUDDY COP DUO OR ACTUAL SAN DIEGO LAW FIRM

Tango & Cash
Tubbs & Crockett
Shulman & Shulman
Starsky & Hutch
Sheingross & Bennett
Riggs & Murtaugh
Spencer For Hire & Hawk
Weinstein For Hire


FUNNYMAN DENNIS LEARY'S CAREER

Standup Routine (exhales cigarettes and saliva, curses, inhales cigarettes, complains. repeat)
Pens 'Asshole' Song (big hit. lyrics: "A-S-S-H-O-L-E, I'm an Asshole, [Inhale cigarette]He's an Asshole")
Judgement Night (Terrorizes Cuba Gooding Jr. and friends)
The Ref (Kidnaps suburban family)
The Sandlot (Hits his own son in the face with curveball. Puts frozen steak on wound)
Whos The Man (Starring those two guys from 'Yo Mtv Raps.')
Comedy Central ROAST (Friends [Keifer Sutherland, Colin Quinn, some other guy] gather in giant theater to celebrate life of Dennis Leary. Laugh track used during on-air special)



SYLVESTER STALLONE'S TOP TEN MOVIES

Commando
Best of the Best 2
Willow (little guy, big heart)
Serpico ('70s Pacino big influence on '80s Marion Cobretti[Cobra])
Beverly Hills Cop 2 (Stallone's wife is in it)
Cobra (Stallone's wife is in it with a 10 minute music video)
Stayin' Alive (Few people know that Stallone directed this Saturday Night Fever sequel)
Lionheart (Killer from Cobra's wife gets boned by Van Damme. Sly watches this movie when he doesn't get a chance to go to the gym)
Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot (Stallone's mom made Frank Stallone convince his brother to name this on the list or his canoli supply would be cut off)
Crybaby (Stallone realized what real acting is in this early Johnny Depp classic)