(By The Sheriff)
10. He was super-pissed when he found out the girl he was grinding on all night was married to a British guy. A women's-soccer-coaching British guy, no less.
9. He was super-pissed when the Sheriff refused his man-embrace and sought revenge for his unrequited physical intimacy.
8. He was drunker than a Canadian on Boxing Day.
7. He wanted to impress his parents, who were standing ten feet away and saw it all, including the Sheriff's slow spiral to the ground as he clutched his dick in agony.
6. Sheriff looks kind of like his sister. Source2 totally wants to fuck the Sheriff's sister. Or punch her in the crotch....
5. He was thinking about driving his Rigarelli in traffic, and the Slippery-When-Wet-era Jovi that DJ Gibroni's chubby older cousin Bobby was playing put him over the top. Too pissed to function, he lashed out at the innocent, moves-bustin' Sheriff....
4. Extreme jealousy of the Sheriff's magnetic dance moves, including the now legendary "Frying Pan," courtesy of Brocktoon.
3. Two words: Dustin Pedroia.
2. Muscular Tourrette's!
1. He thought the Sheriff was a donkey