SUBTEXT ANALYSIS IN THE LYRICS TO "ONCE BITTEN, TWICE SHY" BY GREAT WHITE (by Holy Shit We Died in a Fire)

Lyric:"Well the times gettin hard for you little girl
Im a hummin and a strummin all over gods world
You dont remember when you got your last meal
And you forgot just how a woman feels"

Subtext:Listen babe, blowjobs and playing guitar is just how I operate as a Catholic. Don't deny yourself. You're hungry. Eat my cock.

Lyric: "You didnt know what rock n roll was
Until you met drummer on a greyhound bus
I got there in the nick of time
Before he got his hands across your state line"

Subtext: Listen babe, I've been wanting to fuck you for three gigs now. Ever since i found out you were a virgin. Don't go screwing up my fantasy by fucking Gary. No one fucks drummers. Plus that guy has a dirty dick.


Lyric: "You didnt know how rock n roll looked
Until you caught your sister with a guy from the group

Subtext: Leather pants and hairspray work for both of them. And your sisters a total slut.

Once bitten twice shy, babe

Lyric: "Woman youre a mess gonna die in your sleep
All the blood on my hand and my les paul heat
I cant leave you home cos youre runnin around
My best friend told me you're the best trick in town"

Subtext: Babe, I'm so worried about you. Ronnie said you're a dirty whore, and you know what? I believe him. Now I'm gonna wail a solo until my fingers bleed you two-timing bitch.

Lyric: "You didnt know that rock n roll burned"

Subtext: Fucking Clamydia!

Lyric: "I didnt know ya got a rock n roll record
Until a saw your picture on another guys jacket
You told me I was the only one"

Subtext: Babe, imagine my surprise when I saw your patch on Vinnie's denim cutoff. He said he fucked you after the RATT concert in his buddy's van. Is that true? I thought we had something.

ASSORTED SIGNS TO WATCH OUT FOR THAT YOU REALLY BLEW IT (by TY WEBB)

1. Squandered a life of fame and fortune cause you caught your ex-wife
banging some guy named Ron with a moustach and e and killed them both.
2. Squandered a life of fame and fortune by having inappropriate
relationships with young boys. You also bleached yourself.
3. Got mad at Pam Anderson divorced her for having huge tits and being
a sex symbol all over the world.
4. Dated Kate Moss but get so fucked up and caught with drugs so often
that she had to dump you to improve her image.

WHO WOULD PLAY ME IN A MOVIE?...AND WHY? (by TY WEBB)

1. Slyvester Stallone in "Cliffhanger" for obvious reasons.
2. The guy who played Clark Kent on ANY version of "Superman".
3. Bill Murray, circa 1980, also for obvious reasons.
4. "The Rock" in "The Scorpion King". (Because I hold my sword the same way)
5. Freddie Prinze Jr. in "Summercatch" when Jessica Beal is getting
out of the pool. (Well not really, but I could churn childbutter to
that scene everyday and not get tired of it.)
6. Richard Dean Anderson as MacGyver, in that sock commercial where he
slides down the zipline with a sock. Because I'm resourceful and can a
piece of chewing gum a pen and a ziplock bag into a bagpipe/bong.
7. Chevy Chase, also circa 1980. Self explanatory.

MEET MY NEIGHBOR (by TY WEBB)

My neighbor is a 37 year-old semi-retarded visibly disturbed
individual with a severe speech impediment, a nasty skin condition and
an unfortunate hairlip who still lives with his parents.

My neighbor has thusfar caused two single female parents with
young daughters to move out of the home across the street because he
is such a creep. He also approached my other neighbor and mentioned
that he notices they get a lot of packages delivered and he would be
happy to sign for them.

My neighbor embezzled $300,000 from his father's cancer research firm,
which was researching the disease his father is afflicted by. He used
the money to pay for drop-dead gorgeous hookers who would be dropped
off by cabs in front of his house daily for over 2 years.

Pizza the Hut's ass looks better than my neighbor's face. At least
PTH's ass is made of pizza. This guy's face just looks like one.

REASONS WHY WE DO NOT NEED ANOTHER ROCKY MOVIE (Source2 and LHawk)

The name "Rocky Balboa". All the other movies were numbered in Roman Numerals. Sly must have been sitting around counting on his fingers thinking what comes after five, so he just called it "Rocky Balboa."

Rocky V and the fact that it was written in 19 fucking 90. 16 years ago!! When asked in an interview on Sportcenter last week why he is making the 6th addition he said "I was not happy with Rocky V. I dont think I left the fans with anything that truely represents who Rocky is. I tried to make the 6th movie actually 9 years ago but MGM turned me down. Once I realized I was in my 60's it was time to really put the pedal down to get this thing done." WOW is all I have to say to that

No Apollo Creed?? I know he died in Rocky IV which should have been reason enough to NOT make Rocky V. When asked if he would see the movie, Carl Weathers said he rather see "Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot 2" instead.

Tagline: It ain't over 'til it's over. Trust me Sly it was over after "The Party at Kitty and Stud's". Worst lay ever! For those of you who dont know Kitty and Stud's aka Italian Stallion it was a C level 1970 softcore porno where Sly stars as Stud who is a disco/cocaine lover who loves to party and have orgies. LHawk and I actually discovered this in a local video store in Burlington Vermont in the porno section. I almost shit my pants when we rented it. By the way, walking to the counter with that video in your hand is almost as bad/sketchy as Sly making the movie, it is not like buying an Ace of Base CD at the mall and asking them if they can gift wrap it because it is for your mom/sister, even though it is clearly for you and the second you get to your car, you are tearing that thing open and rocking out...BUT...it is fucking rocky for crying out loud and we had to see if it was real. It was real alright. Real BAD... Not to mention the box cover said "Before Rocky, there was the Italian Stallion" who wouldnt rent that?? check out http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0065904/

Why not make Cliffhanger 2 or Over the Top 2 ?? instead of Over the Top 2 it could be called Under the Bottom, where Lincoln Hawk (Sly) competes in a new underground competetive Uppercut competition. think about it...

Guess who is trainer is?? Paulie! "63 year old Rocky Balboa comes out of retirement due to a computer simulated boxing match that names him champion over current Heavy Weight Champ of 2006 aka Mason "The Line' Dixon." Rocky is forced to train and prove himself once again as "the man" and Paulie is the guy who is going to get him in shape? Paulie wears diapers for crying out loud and reads comics. He drools, is a total booz bag and probably smells like Fritos. He cant even see his own toes yet alone reach down to touch them. By the way Paulie definitly bro's with Quinn from Jaws for sheez!