WHAT IS 'RIDIN' DURTY'? (By The Drummer From Crucial Taunt)

--When you're flipping through the radio stations at an intersection and you land on a completely gay song just as someone you know pulls up next to you.

--When you take a stealth shit at work. No wipe. No flush.

--When Cru Jones does that Hulk-Hogan-Eat-Your-Heart-Out Backflip over the abandoned boat ramp to gain the lead in Hell Track. Sure it looks Rad, but technically my man is Ridin' Durty.

--If your recently divorced dad fucks your live-in girlfriend while you're at a Mens league game, he's Ridin Durty. Hes also a total dick.

--Joyriding the garbage cart while working at Orienta snack bar is Duuuurty. Especially when your music's sooo loud, and you're drinking whiskey sours.

--If a girl throws on a Lemieux old school penguins jersey while she rides you reverse cowgirl she's definitely ridin' durty. However, if you happen to open your eyes and see "44" than shes just sloppy. (By the way, Alyssa Milano used to date Rob 'Sloppy' Brown the year the penguins won their first cup. ewww.)

--Leaving the Mamaroneck senior lot through the one-way entrance by the football field endzone was considered by some to be Ridin' Durty.

--Styling the suicide jump at Bonnie Briar on a night sledding mission, on a red saucer, wearing mittens, after ingesting any combination of MeisterBraus, mushrooms, bong hits, resin hits.

--Pretending to surf on the roof of your friends van while hes driving it ala Styles in Teen Wolf is definitely Ridin Durty.

--Taking viagra to purposely distract your buddy while he is about to tee up an important putt at mini golf because you have a boner and you're wearing sweatpants.

--Pretending to be paralyzed so you can get a wheelchair at Disneyworld: Ridin' Durty.

FUNLIST NAMES THAT NEVER MADE THE CUT (Source2 & Ty Webb)

What Kurt Russell thinks about when he is jogging

Possible items that could be found in Chuck Zito's closet

Objects (animate or inimate) that have spent One Night in Paris

Other movies that Buddy Revell from 3'O'Clock High (aka the bad guy from Kindergarden Cop) should have been in

Types of bowel movements and their scatological descriptions

Assorted non-golf uses for a 9 Iron

Possible approaches to telling my college roomate I banged his mom

Different MacGuyver-ish smoking contraptions I've constructed and utilized

Weird places I've had sex with monkeys

Things to think about while getting a blowjob so that you don't spooge too soon

Interesting nicknames I've assigned to friends without their knowledge

Assorted rumors that I've spread about people for my own amusement

Sexual acts I have participated but have not told my friends about

Different things you can say to mindfuck someone in the morning who blacked out the night before

Rooms (or members' boats) I've had sex on while being paid overtime (time and a half)