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Wednesday, August 09, 2006

WHAT IS 'RIDIN' DURTY'? (By The Drummer From Crucial Taunt)

--When you're flipping through the radio stations at an intersection and you land on a completely gay song just as someone you know pulls up next to you.

--When you take a stealth shit at work. No wipe. No flush.

--When Cru Jones does that Hulk-Hogan-Eat-Your-Heart-Out Backflip over the abandoned boat ramp to gain the lead in Hell Track. Sure it looks Rad, but technically my man is Ridin' Durty.

--If your recently divorced dad fucks your live-in girlfriend while you're at a Mens league game, he's Ridin Durty. Hes also a total dick.

--Joyriding the garbage cart while working at Orienta snack bar is Duuuurty. Especially when your music's sooo loud, and you're drinking whiskey sours.

--If a girl throws on a Lemieux old school penguins jersey while she rides you reverse cowgirl she's definitely ridin' durty. However, if you happen to open your eyes and see "44" than shes just sloppy. (By the way, Alyssa Milano used to date Rob 'Sloppy' Brown the year the penguins won their first cup. ewww.)

--Leaving the Mamaroneck senior lot through the one-way entrance by the football field endzone was considered by some to be Ridin' Durty.

--Styling the suicide jump at Bonnie Briar on a night sledding mission, on a red saucer, wearing mittens, after ingesting any combination of MeisterBraus, mushrooms, bong hits, resin hits.

--Pretending to surf on the roof of your friends van while hes driving it ala Styles in Teen Wolf is definitely Ridin Durty.

--Taking viagra to purposely distract your buddy while he is about to tee up an important putt at mini golf because you have a boner and you're wearing sweatpants.

--Pretending to be paralyzed so you can get a wheelchair at Disneyworld: Ridin' Durty.

11 Comments:

  • At 10:27 PM, Anonymous Bizzy Bone said…

    pretending to be in a wheelchair alongside your buddy who is really in a wheelchair just so the two of you can sit front row at the Blue Oyster Cult concert.

     
  • At 6:22 PM, Anonymous Cooper's Bloody Nose said…

    doing a group karaoke rendition of "Betterman" to a packed bar of townies and their girlfriends in the deep Adirondacks can necessitate a quick getaway from a gang assault, during which you'd be ridin' durty

     
  • At 6:14 AM, Anonymous Source2 said…

    Scoring road head while blasting the latino station and eating a han solo pez dispenser is 100% Ridin' Durdy

     
  • At 1:23 PM, Anonymous Lhawk said…

    Taking a four hour road trip to the Eagle's Nest and burning the place down with everyone in it would be ridin' durty.....and this would never have happened in Barre

     
  • At 1:40 AM, Anonymous Coopers Pancakes said…

    Getting cold cocked in the face for being a light weight is pretty weak considering you ARE from Barre. i thought they taught you a thing or two at Gustos??? tell wide shoulders to try the Tuck Bradford tonight...i know everything guys...

     
  • At 8:41 AM, Anonymous Gary Gaietti's Dad said…

    Being too hammered to put up a fight, yet winning a thumb wrestling match with a local might be Ridin' Durty

     
  • At 10:36 AM, Anonymous Nico Toscani Jr. said…

    Watchin' your buddy getting shanked by the dirt bike kids saying, "man, that kid is gonna get his ass kicked", with your thumb up your ass....might just be ridin' durtee

     
  • At 10:39 PM, Anonymous I'd fuck her with a Bush mask on said…

    I know this isn't the right list...and it's a little after the fact...but I needed to point out that Bruce Arena looks just like Mel from 1983's wacky gutbuster Sleepaway Camp(the one with the girl that's NOT Bruce Springsteen's younger sister Pamela...she's not even a girl at all actually... because in the classicest of all twist endings, you find out she's packing heat instead of beef... but I digress). Seriously, I dare you to look at these pictures

    http://www.perdidosnoespaco.com/portal/atores/6929156_1044375635.jpg

    http://images.skysports.com/images/playerpics05_06/WorldCup2006/UnitedStates/arena_bruce_look.jpg

     
  • At 10:07 PM, Blogger Grady Cole said…

    Ass banging your asian honey and she busts a kim-chee squirter playdough sphgetti factory style round your manifest destinator... you'd be riding dirty and makin' Fisher Price proud

     
  • At 7:52 AM, Anonymous Source2 said…

    playdough sphgetti...halarious

    Also people with Outee belly buttons are automatically Ridin Durdy

     
  • At 8:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    riding in a dirty car with a dirty bong on a dirty street with dirty people

     

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