Fun List Fridays

We Present: Random Lists of Distinctly Selected Items. If you would like to contribute a list, please email us and include your list, list title, and post name in the body of the email. We do not discriminate or edit.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006



Ok we have all seen the standard skinny kid who thinks he is jacked. These assholes are aways sporting a cut-off that does nothing but showcase their water hose arms. They are better off wearing 2 hooded sweat shirts to look bigger. For some reason you will always catch these assbags checking themselves out in the mirror after every single set as if they are going to see immediate results. Keep looking guys. PS.Eat something other than cock.

Have you ever seen the handfull of people at a gym that you know instantly are European? Every once and a while you will see one of these clowns sporting the highest and tightest shorts ever made, they look like my old rec soccer shorts from 6th grade.Then they are usually wearing a spandex t shirt which is fucked up as it is or one of those sketchy open back Tank Tops with a Nike or Adidas logo that is outdated. Either go back to Europe or stop letting your uncircumzized ant eater hang out of your pants.

My favorite group of people to rip on in the gym are the pretty boy meat heads. These guys are total dicks. Everyone knows who I am talking about. These are the cockheads who are either wearing snap off pants or a bathing suit. They clearly take 30 minutes to pick out an outfit for the gym. This is because they will put together the most insane gear known to man. The other day I saw this guy who must have been 25. He was wearing blue and yellow camo bathing suit with a standard army camo wife beater. I was shocked. He also had his Eric Estrada fake tan and 2 pounds of gel in his hair. Tattoos, head band, the works. What the fuck is wrong with this guy? You are at the gym to work out dude, not to win a walk off against Zoolander and Hansel. Your outfit is 180% unacceptable and is not acceptable anywhere in public, period. For all of you other fucknuts who wear similiar gear and do nothing but check yourself out in the mirror and dream about fucking yourself...go to hell.

This next group is for creeps only. They are the standard 35-50 year old guy who does nothing but stare at chicks. Any chick that is. 15-65. Any piece of ass in that gym will be checked out by these lesters no doubt about it. I don't even think these guys work out. You always see them "kinda of working out" Doing cardio but not really pushing it or anything. They might do some free weights but no matter what, you will catch them drooling over ass as if they have never seen one before. As a side note... they are usually sporting shitty sweatpants like all baby boomers rock at the gym and some cheezeball t-shirt that they have had since 1985 just so they feel young enough and still "in the mix". Chances are they are married to a total control freak who does not give head anymore and is a pro at missionary sex. These guys are also the ones that jerk off in their bathrooms at night on the toilet once the wife goes to sleep.

This last group I choose to rip on is the pain in the ass mothers who have all the time in the world to work out when there husbands are off at work. They take every single class the gym has to offer and they meet with personal trainers. They always take up space at the gym because they have all of these super set station set up and they think they own the place. I am sick of you people and the way you always walk really fast through the gym like you have a million things going on. Just relax, take a deep breath, stop cheating on your husbands, brush your teeth, and stop pissing me off when I am trying to get my swell on. And by the way, stop taking up two spots in the parking lot with your SUV that you obviously did not pay for. If it happens again, I will turd your windshield.

Anyone else want a piece?


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