Fun List Fridays

We Present: Random Lists of Distinctly Selected Items. If you would like to contribute a list, please email us and include your list, list title, and post name in the body of the email. We do not discriminate or edit.

Friday, April 14, 2006


- "send me your shots" for the 400th time this week here is the same list I have sent you since day one but lets talk about it again. I understand your little sack revolves around this tall hamster wheel building but I couldn't give a shit. This list is as real as Jenny mcCarthy's rack. If you can find me one retard on the list who will sign this used car deal I will jump around like the rabid monkey who runs this place.

- "Did you call that guy?" yeah I called him 14 times and left nice short messages about this fucking issue and how we should meet up and bang whores. I'm sure he enjoys deleting these messages from his phone almost as much as I like leaving them. Part of me feels like calling him again because by this point I am even annoyed with my own voice! I can see him there looking at his phone as it rings. " who the fuck is this...i bet its that shit bag again." You have one new message, would you like to here this message? "hey ______ just checking in to see about that....message deleted" Ahh now I can rub one out in the back room!

- "we are gonna fix your commission" yeah I have been hearing that since January yet I don't see the sweet ass upgrade you speak of. The money debt just keeps growing and my wallet keeps getting thinner. I hope you cockslappers enjoy your box seats at tonights game, If you need me I will be eating Ramen with my future wife and cat. Can I borrow a match to lite this prayer candle?

- " We need to get you more shots" Yeah I know - lets sit in your office and look through 9000 accounts to find that one cherry that we haven't popped with our corporate cocks. Oh wait - what about this one - oh no they went out of buisness, Damn! so fucking close. "I have already done this and called a few people" wait wait here's one - yeah call them offer them a cheap ad. I'm sure the monkey fucking the football last year offered them the same sweet deal yet just couldn't get it done - strange isn't it.


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