VICTORIA'S SECRET (by Yo Needik!)
--I am a total slut.
--You might think I'm a total slut because Im strutting around in this lace thong and we just met five minutes ago, but really, I'm a total tease and I won't let you even take off my bra.
--You might think I'm a tease because I'm strutting around in this lace thong five minutes after we just met, but actually, I'm a total slut. And I've got the herp-dog.
--My name is Victor. And yes, that is my dick rubbing against your back as we spoon. Sucker.
--When I said I just wanted to cuddle, it wasn't that I didn't want to have sex with you. Its just that I had raging diahrea all night.
--One time I fucked this random homeless guy in the subway bathroom because I was on exctasy.
--I was born with a tail.
--I just moved ahead of Clark Cooke for sole possession of 12th place on the Murray Avenue Small Playground all-time street hockey goal scoring list.
--Michael Jackson's didn't come over to my house to take a shit...but his sister did!
--I am a total slut.
--You might think I'm a total slut because Im strutting around in this lace thong and we just met five minutes ago, but really, I'm a total tease and I won't let you even take off my bra.
--You might think I'm a tease because I'm strutting around in this lace thong five minutes after we just met, but actually, I'm a total slut. And I've got the herp-dog.
--My name is Victor. And yes, that is my dick rubbing against your back as we spoon. Sucker.
--When I said I just wanted to cuddle, it wasn't that I didn't want to have sex with you. Its just that I had raging diahrea all night.
--One time I fucked this random homeless guy in the subway bathroom because I was on exctasy.
--I was born with a tail.
--I just moved ahead of Clark Cooke for sole possession of 12th place on the Murray Avenue Small Playground all-time street hockey goal scoring list.
--Michael Jackson's didn't come over to my house to take a shit...but his sister did!
posted by Gearheart @ 10:16 PM
4 Comments:
At 8:29 PM,
Anonymous said…
Dear Victoria,
Your secret is safe with me. On another note, I was looking at my dick in the mirror the other morning and noticed a funky rash on my "Tony Little". Know anything about it?
Sincerely,
Tom "I'm a gay scientologist" Cruise
At 10:13 PM,
Anonymous said…
I hooked up with Tom Cruise while he was with Katie Holmes. To top that off, I also let him get a taste of my sweet yeast infection. Goodluck with all that Tom.
At 12:10 PM,
Anonymous said…
Ease with the Anti tom quotes...He's my wingman and he's the son of Duke MItchell who lost his life in 'nam...he'll slay ur ass...the bet is 20 dollars.
-Ice Man
At 2:56 PM,
Anonymous said…
Listen up Jerry Mcgayer, you're not fooling anyone. You should come up with a better fake name than Kazinski, Cruise. Obviously when you told Matt Lauer that you read, you meant people's blogs, just to try to find out how much street cred you lost when it became public that you ram your Cruise missile up kids poop chutes. Now THAT'S risky business... just ask Gary Glitter. Suck some more Cocktail Kazanski. By the way, as for Victoria's secret, we all knew she had the hiv, so good luck getting rid of that. Now that's what I call a mission impossible
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