MY DOGS (PS…IF I EVER MEET YOUR DOG AND IT HAS ONE OF
THESE NAMES AND I WILL PUNT YOUR BITCH) (By Mahnny being Mahnny. Formerly Brocktoon)
-Lunch Box (can also double as my kid’s name)
-Chauncey (for girl dog only)
-Stabone (Tip o’ the hat to K. Cameron and Growing
-No Nuts (Thank you Bob Barker)
DON’T FUCK WITH THE BURGER KING!!! (By Mahnny Being Mahnny)
-Fuck T-O, The King already has as many touchdowns and
yardage (if not more), and on top of that, he keeps
his mouth shut! The King doesn’t need words,
sharpies, or stupid eagle flaps to let the world know
who’s boss. He’ll let you know with his maniacal
stare and stoic silence….not to mention he plays
offense and defense.
-Need a skyscraper built? Call The King! You’ll be
all trying to eat your lunch way up high on an I-bar,
and then: what’s that? Is there someone on the other
side of this beam? It’s The King bitch!!! He’s not
going to tell you how to do your job, he’s just gonna
pump you up with that wicked stare….that and a large
order of chicken fries.
-The King Vs. T. Guy Minetti. Now I know some of you
will be quick to jump in Minetti’s corner with your
spit bucket and over abundance of Q-tips, but just
hold your horses there. We’re talking about The King
here. I mean, he’s the fucking Burger King you got
that? They should actually change their name to
Fucking Burger King. Now I bet this would go twelve
rounds and end in a split decision, but when the
judges are sitting there trying to figure out how
Minetti lasted so long against such a dominating force
as The King is, and maybe they should give the V. to
T. Guy, they’ll feel the overwhelming heat coming
from His eyes and come to their senses and realize
that all titles from here on out will go to The King.
What’s The King’s record you ask? Infinity-0
-All lumberjacks love The King.
-The King went on Geraldo At Large for his first
interview since the advent of the chicken fries and in
response to Gerry’s first question: How does it feel
to be the king? He just sat there and smiled…for the
rest of the interview.
-Can you eat a Triple Whopper??? The King dares thee.
ADDITIONAL THINGS TO DO IN A HOTEL ROOM ON A HOCKEY
TRIP (by Mahnny Being Mahnny)
-Eat an 1/8 of mushrooms with your roommate and assure
your coach when he asks why you’re not celebrating the
big win with your teammates that you’re “just tired”
and yes, your pupils are always this big.
-Empty the entire contents of one rookie’s room onto
the balcony and snow covered lawn below
-RAMBONE: THE DESTROYER
-Practice your Chappy “Too Legit To Quit” dance in
front of mirror-tighty whities optional.