Minetti framed Harry Crumb
Minetti boned your mother before you were born
Research Analysts predict that Minetti has 12,756 children that he does not know about. 9,458 of them have mustaches and are between the ages of 12 and 20
Minetti invented High-Tops
Minetti broke the record for throwing a nerf football.
Sunny Delight was Minetti's idea.
Minetti is a Jedi Knight
Minetti is really Lukes father
Minetti invented Ring Pops
Minetti is in the Guiness Book of World Records for holding his breath under water for 49 hours, 32 minutes, and 12 seconds.
Minetti was actually controlling the Giant Squid in 10,000 Leagues Under the Sea like ace Ventura 2 during the Rhino scene.
The paper airplane was Minetti's idea
Minetti can smoke a joint in the White House and no one will say anything.
Minetti is undefeated in "The Contest"
Minetti has never lost Wheel of Fortune because his favorite letter is "T"...
Minetti invented the Air Guitar
Minetti blackmailed Pete Rose