Fun List Fridays

We Present: Random Lists of Distinctly Selected Items. If you would like to contribute a list, please email us and include your list, list title, and post name in the body of the email. We do not discriminate or edit.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

FOUR DUMB THINGS TO DO AT A HOTEL (By Mike White's Friend Bob)**

1.) Take a dump, then invite your friends into the bathroom to watch as you pick it up with your bare hands out of the toilet, then proceed to Slam Dunk it back into the toilet.
2.) Roll a joint using page 666 from the bible.
3.) Build a fort then smoke so much inside it that you get dillusional and start accusing friends of stealing your non-existent waffles.
4.) Get wasted then drive to Jack-In-the-Box and sucker punch your friend in the face right in the middle of ordering 2 tacos for a dollar.

**First FunListFriday List sent from another country


1.randomly explosive diahrrea
2.tony danza appears with some advice, after all, he is the boss
3.Travolta, fatter than ever, slides in to teach some Saturday night fever moves
4.things on fire
5.Hot sluts getting pounded, but all you can see is the girl
6.lemeiux winks at you in the stands after a ridiculous through the legs upper
7.fat people, they're everywhere
8.hippies, I hate goddamn hippies...they say they wanna save the world, but all
they do is smell bad and smoke pot all day.
9.t. guy shows up sportin the meanest stash niceski ever seen and a sweet pair
of purple jean shorts. He has No input, just wanted to show off his gear/
10.trey parker and matt stone decide to randomly start singing the, "it's a
montage song" from team America and bone Victoria silvsted playmate of the year
on top of an American flag in the background


-Beat Jesus in a foot race across water.

-Minetti framed Roger Rabbit.

-Neil Armstrong was not the first man to walk on the was Minetti.

-Minetti was the second gunman involved in the Kennedy assassination.

-Minetti replaced the 1st Ultimate Warrior after he had a steroid overdose.

-Minetti was the first to sport the notorious dirt stache...yet was still able
to lay the mac down hard.

-Minetti fucked up David Blain and Kriss Angel in a magic fight. Minetti turned
both of them into a large Pu Pu Platter. Then proceeded to eat them.

-Minetti still holds the highest score in Pac-Man. Not to be confused with Ms.
Pac-Man which is for total H-mo's.

-American Gladiators was Minetti's idea.


1)If you look closely, you can spot Chuck Norris in nearly every scene of "Men in Black".
2)Chuck Norris hates cripples.
3)When Chuck Norris masturbates, a doorway to hell is opened, thus allowing demons to roam freely on the earth.
4)Chuck Norris auditioned for the lead role in the original 'Shaft', but was told he "wasn't black enough". In retaliation, he killed Martin Luther King jr.
5)Chuck Norris replaced Al in Home Improvement for one episode. Oddly enough, that was the only TV show he appeared on that no one laughed at.
6)Chuck Norris is one of the Twelve superhumans that can eat their own heads and live to tell the tale (using sign language).
7)While not officially a diplomat, Chuck Norris has his own seat at the United Nations. He walked into the building by accident in 1992 and sat down in a seat reserved for the representative from Denmark, who chose to sit indian style rather than risk asking him to leave.
8)The common dildo is modeled after Chuck Norris' penis.
9)Chuck Norris can recite the Monroe Doctrine with his anus.
10)When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."


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  • At 4:31 PM, Anonymous Robby Mallomar said…

    Maybe he works with Matthew Lesko, running around on tv at 4AM wearing that yellow and black suit with the opposite color question marks sewed onto it...or maybe he's just an H-mo that thumbs his 2-hole too much...i jsut don't know

  • At 10:13 PM, Anonymous Fucking Cunt said…

    Bauer out and Source 2 saw "Guy Question Marks" merking around Manhattan. That guy is a damn creepo.

  • At 2:06 PM, Anonymous Colonel Kurtz said…

    I shit my pants so hard after reading the most recent Chuck Norris list that crap got on my shoelaces. I would've changed shoes but I was afraid that Chuck wouldn't approve, so I didn't.

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