Police Officers...especially highway cops need to FUCKING EASE. Sweet.. you were a total fucking loser in highschool or you were last picked in kickball...but don't take it out on me because you need to feel the power of authority. Just because I rock...doesn't mean I am made of stone. I can not afford anymore speeding tickets in my Rigarelli or I am fucked. Who wakes up one day and is like, "I want to be that asshole who pulls people over for speeding?" The other day I drove by a highway cop on my favorite Interstate 95, and this cheif was outside of his car door kneeling down and pointing the Laser Gun at cars as they drove by as if he was a little fucking kid pretending his fake gun actually killed people. EASE you fucking piker...Hey buddy...You have an egg on your shoe...BEAT IT!
This also goes for ticket cops...This is unexceptable. Do these people even have souls? I understand it is the Police Departments nice way of giving senior citizens jobs but why the fuck are they so determined to fuck me. Also why do they have to be in those little gay carts? Nothing screams authority and protection in your town than a crusty old fat bitch in a plastic golf cart with a pen and paper. Fucking EASE before I drop a grumpie on your windsheild!
While I am really sticking the Police I might as well rip on BIKE COPS! Ease you sorry excuse for a human being. What the fuck are you going to do on that Bike? Look I know you have 10 speeds and "shocks" and one of those cool reflectors that you got from Millers on Mamaroneck Avenue, but you are still a pussy. How are you going to catch me if I am in my car or even if I am on foot. When was the last time you saw a highspeed police bike chase? Never? Exactly, because they don't fucking exist! Also I do not give a shit if you can see me at night with your flashlight but why do you need to keep it in a holster like it was a laser pistol? "Hey buddy..why don't you flash that light over here I think I see something...look its your Mom getting double teamed by Mickey Rourke and Eric Roberts!" You fucking zero..EASE the HARDEST.
Also George Costanza trying to make a career after Seinfeld...EASE
Post-Its...EASE...There is no escape...they are fucking everywhere