Fun List Fridays

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005

QUICK ADDITION TO THE THINGS/PEOPLE THAT NEED TO EASE (by "Utah, gimme two")

Gary Busey

Kris Angel--Mind Freak

People who try hard

People who recycle

The one homeless kid (who I don't think is even homeless, but still begs for change at the same exact spot everyday).--Look dude, first of all, you're only a year older than me--get a fucking job. Secondly, I pass you every day, and I'm usually wearing my headphones (the international sign for "don't talk to me, I'm rocking out"). Some days I throw you a few quarters, some days I just walk by. Its not a fucking toll dickhead! Don't sit there and throw a shit fit at me or send your mangy girlfriend to curse me out. If you're that much of a go-getter, go get her a fucking income, chief.

John Cougar Mellancamp. Listen "Cougar", someone else actually requested this ease via email, so if that isn't a warning to take a fucking step back then I don't know what is. And whats with all the name-changing? What are you Prince? Why don't you just change your name to a sign? Here's one to get you started: Make a diamond with your thumbs and forefingers. Now you're an official pussy, you pussy. By the way, Little Pink Houses makes people think you're a real funny man's man. Just kidding, they think you're a pussy.

Every once in a while I take a bite of ice cream instead of a lick and my whole mouth goes into an excruciating state of frozen paralytic shock. Ease ice cream.

Poker on TV. Dont even get me started.

Movie remakes. Do people just not remember or...

The 70's. Ease.

The word rhythym. I'm an English major. I have no idea how to spell it.

Girls who feel compelled to say something honest and heartfelt after sex, like, "I love you." Sure, I love you too. I love the fact that you bootycall me every time you and your boyfriend get into a fight and let me come over and launch a spooge geyser through your uterus. Sweet.

Ringtones

Skidmarks on underwear

tiny dogs

Jude Law

2 Comments:

  • At 12:38 PM, Anonymous broctoon said…

    utah, gimme two: best name eva!

     
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