POSSIBLE ALIASES 24'S JACK BAUER MAY ADOPT NOW THAT SEASON 4 IS OVER AND HE'S ON THE RUN TO AVOID IMPRISONMENT IN CHINA. (BY TY WEBB)

KEN EASTON
CARL TACKLA-BELT
BOB NOVAK
JIM MORRISON
JAROMIR JOFA
GORDON LIGHTFOOT
BUSTER McHENRY
STORM T. RENEGADE
TAD ALIGASH
RENO RAINES
ULYSSES S. GRANT
ACE MERRILL
GEORGE PATTON
DEAN YOUNGBLOOD
G. GORDON LIDDY
DEREK SUTTON
GARY BETTMAN
PAUL TABLIABUE


REASONS WHY BRENDAN MCGONIGLE MIGHT NOT BE GAY* (BY CARL SPACKLER)

--he used to fool around with my girlfriend's roomate who, while attractive, is currently dating the brother of her ex-boyfriend who to my knowledge Mcgonigle never fooled around with.
--McGonigle scored BJ from the aforementioned girlfriend's roomate at a highschool party in the closet of her then-boyfriend's parents' bedroom while her boyfriend was in the other room. When the boyfriend opened the closet and caught the two he began crying.
--he looks like Richie, who by all accounts is the man and clearly not gay
--I've never seen him at Monkey. And I'm always at Monkey.
--To my knowledge he's never made a pass at Mike Christopher who by all accounts is every woman's fantasy. I mean, c'mon, even I'd fuck Mike.
--McGonigle has never taken action on his comments that he would "do" Eddie Vedder, which begs the question why someone would even want to "do" their look-alike.

*After a recent post by Ty Webb, it has come to my attention that Brendan McGonigle was just slightly upset by a reference to Source2's list from 2/11/05--"Reasons Why Brendan McGonigle Might Be Gay". I regard Brendan as a close (not that close) personal friend, so here is a rebuttal of the claim that he might be gay. --Sincerely, Carl Spackler.