TOP TEN REASONS WHY IM TAKING A LEAVE OF ABSENCE FROM LAW SCHOOL - ( by Ty Webb and Carl Spackler (collectively))

1. Summer-Poolhouse-Upperdecker El Nino Blumpkin season is right around the corner and I need to practice my splashdowns.

2. Taking some time off to "Lift and Work on my Music". If you would dig Sylvester Stallone playing the music of Neil Young then you'd be a fan.

3. Decided to open a sweet BYOB pool hall/dart room/arcade called "The Emporium" where the Cove currently sits.

4. My guitar wants to kill your momma.

5. I've become a Tailor, and am weaving the Emperor's new clothes.

6. Need to work on my tan so I can be bronzed for the moneyshot when I shoot my next porn film, "Sex on the Beach: The Screaming Seagull".

7. Need to get real good at golf so that I can get onto the PGA Tour and collect those oversize tournament checks.

8. I'm buying a stairway to heaven.

9. Got shot while hunting with Dick Cheney, need time to recover before heading back to the books.

10. Im taking it upon myself to personally guard the U.S./Mexico border (despite the fact that when I grow my dirt -stash I am basically a Mexican)