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Friday, March 31, 2006

TOP TEN REASONS WHY IM TAKING A LEAVE OF ABSENCE FROM LAW SCHOOL - ( by Ty Webb and Carl Spackler (collectively))

1. Summer-Poolhouse-Upperdecker El Nino Blumpkin season is right around the corner and I need to practice my splashdowns.

2. Taking some time off to "Lift and Work on my Music". If you would dig Sylvester Stallone playing the music of Neil Young then you'd be a fan.

3. Decided to open a sweet BYOB pool hall/dart room/arcade called "The Emporium" where the Cove currently sits.

4. My guitar wants to kill your momma.

5. I've become a Tailor, and am weaving the Emperor's new clothes.

6. Need to work on my tan so I can be bronzed for the moneyshot when I shoot my next porn film, "Sex on the Beach: The Screaming Seagull".

7. Need to get real good at golf so that I can get onto the PGA Tour and collect those oversize tournament checks.

8. I'm buying a stairway to heaven.

9. Got shot while hunting with Dick Cheney, need time to recover before heading back to the books.

10. Im taking it upon myself to personally guard the U.S./Mexico border (despite the fact that when I grow my dirt -stash I am basically a Mexican)


  • At 3:52 PM, Anonymous Shooter McGaven said…

    oversized tournament checks kick ass...

  • At 9:10 PM, Anonymous Dick Trickle ( This is the name of a real NASCAR driver) said…

    I am waiting for John Edwards to come out of his "Panic Room" aka "The closet of homosexuality," so I can kick him in the nuts until he SHITS...than maybe I'll make him eat his own feces. I'll kick him so hard it will prevent him from ever fathering children. I would be doing his future children a great favor by terminating the risk of ever being labelized as "The children of the Biggest Douche in the Universe."
    p.s. John Edwards enjoys driving Hybrid cars, and he also enjoys the stench of his fetid scented farts

  • At 11:07 PM, Anonymous The Ghost of David Palmer said…

    When Kim Bauer was a little girl, Jack Bauer did not sing her any lullabies. Jack Bauer choked her to sleep.

  • At 11:11 PM, Anonymous Mao Zedong said…

    Comment section is for comments on lists. Got a funny anecdote? Save it up for when you've got the humor to write a full list and send it in.

  • At 6:33 AM, Anonymous SGAGS INNER THOUGHTS said…



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