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Wednesday, July 19, 2006

CURRENT COMMERCIALS THAT MAKE ME WANT TO SKULL FUCK SOMEONE (Source2)

Those stupid Taco Bell commercials with that loser kid who parents cant wait to get rid of him. That "Good to Go" theme is already more overused than Tara Reids vagina. Bring back the little Chihuahua for crying out loud.

McDonalds iced coffee and salad commercials??? What the fuck is going on people. This country was built on values that started at the Golden Arches. It is called fat food, and we are fat people. Thats the call. People go to McD's for Big MAcs, McNuggets, and french fries. Thats it. Dieting and McDonalds don't mix. I hate the scumbags who order a number 1 supersized and then get a DIET coke?? Makes no sense. Ever see these people? Here is what I recomend for McD's new commercials. There will be no people at all. It will be a 30 second clip. All they will do is just zoom in on the entire value meal menu so it covers the entire screen. Then they can play the Jaws theme in the background. If I ever turned the tv on and saw the McDonalds value menu spread out my entire flat screen I would be in my car before the time it was over already thinking which extra items on the dollar menue I was going to get with my supersized Double Quarter pounder with cheese, for all of you who dont know, thats a # 4.

That T Mobile commercial with that stupid little 16 year old cheerleader bitch that talks a mile a minute the entire commercial. I understand the whole "everywhere minuts thing" but just show me Catherine Zeta Jones and stop wasting my time. It is a cell phone, I am going to talk on it.

I have mentioned it once before on one of my pet peaves lists, but that fucking Crestor commercial drives me up the wall. My blood boils when I see it. I hate it so much. I just want to throw Mandy Patankin right down those glass glowing stairs from Wizard of OZ. Yes Mandy, I know you were in Princess Bride and hung out with Andre the Giant, but I dont care anymore. I loved that movie too. But you know what, I also loved George Castanza when he did Seinfeld, I hate him now trying to make a career in KFC commercials. Back off Crestor. I am 24 and not worried about my Cholesterol for reasons explained above in the McDonalds segment. Ease

Speaking of actors trying to make a career in commercials. What the fuck is the deal with John Lovitz. This guy used to be funny. I mean he hasn't done anything remotely funny since his breif cameo in the Wedding Singer. Rat Race?? Give me a break, movies with Seth Green always suck. So what the hell are you doing in the new Subway commercials John? Sitting on this big chair in a robe telling me to "Eat Fresh" in this weird annoying loud voice. While we are on the topic of Subway...By far the worst sandwich place around. Eat Fresh my ass. Very sloppy, the food just sits there for hours. They just leave the chicken in a little french fry cardboard thing and then just throw it in the microwave? If you are going to pull something like that dont showcase it. They should make the sandwiches beind closed walls. Why do I need to look at it. It is gross. Ease Subway. The meatball sub used to be legendary once upon a time. Now you are endorsing a superfat guy turned skinny named Jerry who should have hung up the kleats a long time ago and now Lovitz? Why Lovitz, I don't get it. Out of all the people in the country, John Lovitz? Is it becasue he is fat? Is it because his career is over and you feel bad for him like most other companies do when they put struggling actors/actresses in commercials? It is a food commercial. Just get Kobiyashi from the Nathans Hot Dog eating contest. That retard will eat anything.

Lunesta: I hate this commercial for two reasons. 1. It is on five times at least during a one hour episode of Law and Order SVU on USA, so I see it too often. 2. It is just bullshit. It is a sleeping pill. But they have all of these little fairy's with their fairy dust flying around a couple sleeping. If you look closely the couble sleeping is smiling. I know they are happy sleeping but it is just so artificial it makes me want to pee on my tv. Why dont they just tell you the truth about sleeping pills like Ambien. If you take one and try to stay up and can succesfully make it past the threshold of 20 minutes, then you are 100% tripping balls. Your body is sleeping but you are awake and completely confused. Shit is crazy. For anyone who didn't know that you will now in my new version of the commercial. The theme should be "Try Lunesta, if you stay awake after 20 minutes, you will have an orgy with the three little fairy's flyign around the screen. Dont believe us, we dont care, we know it works." You know, somethig like that.

3 Comments:

  • At 9:40 AM, Anonymous brocktoon said…

    i may be risking my testicles by saying this, but i love that t-mobile commercial. not only is that chick gonna be totally bangable in three years, but she's in a cheerleader uni, and damned if i'm not a sucker for that.
    mandy patinkin is a total nut-job

     
  • At 11:12 AM, Anonymous carl spackler said…

    Brock, I agree with you about that little cheerleader. I'd say give her two years though, with the way girls are today in three years time she'll be just as stretched out as Tara Reid.

    God I hope I don't have daughters.

     
  • At 10:21 PM, Blogger Grady Cole said…

    The Chihuahua got fired cause it offended brown people and they sued. Only white people eat at taco bell. Only white people would actually pay money to eat that Ohio TexiMexi spew. "fire" sauce? Spare me.

    Agreed on the cheerleader. By the looks of those illiac crests she'll make a fine baby factory. If she bares me a daughter, I hope that the dowry of 16 camels, 4 goats and a Roomba is sufficient enough to make up for her cleft lip and malodorous vagina.

    The tie touched you last... you poor piece of shit.

     

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