MELLENCAMP'S RECIPE FOR UBER-PATRIOTIC TRUCK JINGLE SUCCESS (By Brocktoon)

-Make sure to hijack one of your former mega-american
anthems and just "tweak" it a bit. whether it be
going from a power d chord to an open d chord, a
simple phrase etc, whatever you're feelin buddy,
you're the coog.

-Always have plenty of horses prancing around in slow
motion, Americans love stallions...and horse power.

-Make sure to reference all sectors of the country:
both coasts, north, south, the deltas, the prairies,
the mesas, the badlands, the goodlands...you name it
we love it.

-When referring to the south, always use "dixie"

-Never smile, yet never frown...a very difficult move
that only the coog can pull off.

-5 o'clock shadow is a must



MY THOUGHTS ON THE NEW SEASON OF LAGUNA BEACH (By Brocktoon)

-Cameron is such a "Chadd Toddson"

-Damn that Tessa sure gets shat upon. I mean really,
all she wants is a man to lay all her insecurities and
dependancies of, and that bitch kyndra (with a 'Y'. why?)
just can't let her be. So what if she has an
incredibly bad haircut (c'mon, girls with non-centered
parts always look a little down syndrome), the girl
deserves some meat.

-Chase needs to keep his shirt on when singing gay
pop/punk/emo.

-Note to the guys: only girls are supposed to wear
Gucci oversized gag goggles.

-I love MILF's, and more so, i love how many websites
have been dedicated to this phenomenon.

-What's that, Monday Night Football's on? Fuck that,
Laguna yo

***Disclaimer from Brocktoon: The making of this list has gone
through much scrutiny and severe limitative analysis
because, let's face it, this shit could go on all day.