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Monday, March 19, 2007

HOW I KNOW YOU'RE A TOTAL PUSSY (By Brocktoon)

-I can't tell if you're wearing jeans or stretch
pants.

-When getting on the subway you frantically search
for an open seat like you're life depended on it.
Bonus pussy points if you get off at the next stop.

-You have "Frosted Tips"

-You say "Cool Beans"

-When you go for a bike ride, instead of just
throwing on some shorts, or even rolling up one side
of your pants (gangsta stylie) you opt for the full
spandex suit complete with aerodynamic helmet. You
might as well just shave your legs, learn Italian and
mandate Dennis Quaid in "Breaking Away". Bonus pussy
points for ultra serious expression on face like
you're in the Tour de fucking France.

-You wear scarfs and/or turtle necks way too often.
Okay, once in a while is acceptable (winter only), but
when your dresser is non stop t-neck, and you're
closet reminds me of Steven Tyler's mic stand, then
you need to ease...you humongous pussy.

-You wear pointy toe'd shoes. 'Nuff said pussy.

-You buy more than 5 things at CVS. Really, there are
grocery stores for a reason and i don't need to wait
20 for you to buy a gallon of milk and other food
products you clearly could buy form the bitches at
Gristedes across the street when all i need is a pack
of rubbers cause i just broke one mid-fromby and i
have to get back before she dries up, not to mention
i'm folded up cowboy style and my zipper is doing a
number on my shaft.

-You wear a cowboy hat with the sides rolled up like
you're a sorority girl from Florida State.

13 Comments:

  • At 10:18 AM, Anonymous BudMud said…

    Anyone who was at the Baiocco's little swoire this past weekend can attest to this,

    I know you're a total pussy if you're pumping yourself up by telling every one your family's in the mafia and literally begging every dude at the party to be your boy... ease

     
  • At 11:53 AM, Anonymous Madsteezio said…

    thanks for the invite guys, real bro of you....bitches!

     
  • At 6:38 AM, Anonymous BauerOut said…

    Reasons Why Madsteezio Did Not Get the Invite to the Baiocco Bender:
    -We knew that if you got the invite, you would bring the level of raging from 11, all the way down to 4 by showing up with a six pack of tequiza...and that ain't cool.
    -Odds are if you got the invite, you would try creeping your way over to the cd player and throw on the Nickelback/Crossfade mix you made. If you bro with Chad Kroeger, you can't bro with me.

     
  • At 9:42 AM, Anonymous Cheech said…

    - Also, reason why Madsteezio didn't get invited: Rumor on the street has it that you tried to Armageddon It with Nelson on a man-date...totally not cool brah.

     
  • At 5:39 PM, Anonymous biff from back to the future said…

    oh you got served...
    Nelson, hahahahaha

     
  • At 12:10 AM, Anonymous Cheech, Bauerout, and Source. 2 said…

    Other reasons why Madsteezio didn't get the invite:
    -Anytime a bender goes down, Madsteezio is considered to be the suspect guilty of overhugging, and ultimately killing the scene.
    -Whenever he gets in on a game of Ruit, he always assumes that the bounce rule is in effect...and since he can't really hang with the Bud Heavy, he fills his cups with Michelobe Ultra Lite.

     
  • At 10:26 AM, Anonymous madsteezio said…

    yo, respect the steez bitches

    bauer out has a sweet rigarelli

     
  • At 1:05 PM, Anonymous taka tenaka said…

    I hear u wear barret, stretch pant, and u haaavvve NO marbles!

     
  • At 2:59 PM, Anonymous BauerOutSki said…

    Hey Taka Tenaka....Ease

     
  • At 8:28 PM, Anonymous madsteezio said…

    ways in which madsteezio would have made the source2/bauerout fiesta "madcoolio":

    -after rocking both huey lewis' "sports" followed by phil collins' "no jacket required", bob seger's "hollywood nights" would officially put the night into "armegeddon it" territory

     
  • At 9:36 PM, Anonymous Kid Springsteen said…

    Your music selection was pretty 'on', but I think your downfall was rollin up to the party with your sensai. Terry Silver? You could've at least brought John Creese.

    Unless he was busy broing with Paul Sr. at OCC

     
  • At 8:12 AM, Anonymous madsteezio said…

    true true, cobra kai always gotta roll mobb deep

     
  • At 11:35 PM, Anonymous cheech said…

    hey madsteezio...you definitely would not have 'put the night into armageddon it territory'. you dont even know what that phrase means....ease...

     

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