THE MUSINGS OF BROCKTOON AS OF 2.7.07 (By Mad Steez)

-There comes a time early on in a relationship when, after the first blowjob, after you o-face in her mouth, there is a moment, a sink or swim moment if you will, whether she spits or swallows. It's in this moment, this crucial period of time that feels like an eternity, that a girls character is truly revealed. Now don't get me wrong, a blowjob is a blowjob and i aint complaining either way, but when this girl has potential, true potential, this could be the defining moment your best man will talk about in your speech at your wedding.

-The same could be said for doggystyle, or "fromby". This is a little more serious however, cause lets face it, i'll live if you spit (i mean, who could blame you, i'd vomit if someone else's jizz got within a 10 foot radius of my person), but if you balk when i go for the flip and fuck...then you're a prude and can't be trusted. Ladies, be proud of your asses!

-I think Mel Gibson should get an honorary oscar for "Biggest Sword Ever" in Braveheart. I mean really, that fucking thing is taller than he is and he still wields it like Marty McSorley.

-Regarding the elderly and children: NO FREE PASSES. So i don't care if you're 75, if you elbow me as i'm walking down the street telling me to walk on the right side, when i was nowhere near bumping into you, you're going to be informed that you're fat, old and going to die alone and you deserve it. And to you, Vigilante Soccer Mom, don't expect me to give up my seat for your little brat, i don't care how loud he's crying. He's young, he's got the energy apparently so he can stand. That would be like parking a scooter in a normal parking spot. Also, don't get mad at me when, after an hour of kicking the back of my seat, i turn around and give you're spazz of a snot machine the double bird.

-Demon Schlong would be a great band name.

-I don't care what anyone says, Keanu Reeves rocks the shit. I mean, Bill & Ted's, Parenthood, Point Break and The Matrix aside....have you ever seen The Replacements?

-I'm tired of how the rest of the world (mainly europe) perpetuates this stereotype of how
Americans are loud and obnoxious. While it may be true in some cases (mainly the american flag swim suit wearing ones) don't try and play it off like every european is quiet, polite and reserved. Drunk soccer hooligans anyone? And i also seem to remember half naked i-tie's going berserk in our hotel hallway trying to get at the developing hotties on our class trip to Europe. I also seem to remember buying a hash pipe in every country visited.

-For being such a tough town, new york sure is filled with a bunch of pussies....pussies and retards.

-No self respecting hetero should be seen walking a dog that could fit in a purse.

-Not to sound like a total h-mo or anything, but i hate it when girls tuck their too tight jeans into knee high boots.

-Even if it might veer into the man-date realm, i would double team a girl, as long as we stay on opposite ends and make no eye contact, though a high five might be acceptable for novelty reasons. And definately under no circumstances: NO DOUBLE PENETRATION. My balls and your balls don't need to be that close.