THINGS GUYS SHOULD NEVER SAY TO WOMEN THAT HAVE ACTUALLY BEEN SAID TO ME AND/OR MY FRIENDS AT SOME POINT
(Jessica Eslinger, cute men's league hockey groupie)

Come here and call me 'Uncle Vinny"
Are you from Tenessee? Cause you're the only Ten I See
Its my bachelor party...you're supposed to kiss me. Bitch.
What, you want me to buy you a drink or something?
My wife just died. She'd like this place...she'd like you.
Real...fake...real...fake. Look how they bounce...I'll go with real.
I can tell you work out--let me crack your back.
You're like one of those "Sex In The City" California sluts, aren't you?
I like 'em thick
My girlfriend is nothing like you--thats why I need you so much!
I've dated all kind of girls, even ones like you.
I promise I'll never cheat on you...again.
I have a really small penis--you'd be surprised.
You're hot but smart, and I don't want to work that hard
I need your help planning my friend's bachelor party and I want it to be real dirty. You're boyfriend is still coming, right?
How can it be wrong if it feels so right?