"You're looking good babe, you doin' Pilates?"
GUY: Do you want me to walk you home?
GIRL: No, if I let you walk me home I might ask you to come home with me.
Random Broad: Do you think you could come over to my dorm room tomorrow, I need help moving my bed?
Random Guy: What? Like forward and back?
"I love to give the 'How you doin' head nod to the boyfriend of the chick I just fucked."
"If I ever see you in Burlington, you're DEAD MEAT!
"Dude, don't tell anyone, but...I shit in the upper deck of the toilet in the bathroom upstairs"