LIST OF ABBREVIATIONS: "WOMEN SEEKING MEN" CLASSIFIEDS
(Matt Geiszler)

CODE WORD..............MEANS

40-ish.................48
Adventurer.............More sexual partners than you will ever have
Artist.................Unreliable
Beautiful..............Pathological liar
Emotionally Secure.....Medicated
Educated...............College dropout
Employed...............Stuffs envelopes at home
Free Spirit............Substance abuser
Friendship First.......Trying to live down reputation of slut
Light Drinker..........Lush
Loves Animals..........Cat Lady
Non-Traditional........Ex-husband lives in basement
Open-minded............desperate
Outgoing...............Surfs the web, extensively
Spiritual..............Involved with cult
Tan....................Wrinkled
Wants Soulmate.........One step away from stalking