Guys Who Wear White Jeans--Who do you think you are? David Lee Roth.
Jean Shorts--I would almost prefer if guys wore jean shorts with the fringes just so I would know that they were kidding. The problem I have is with perfectly hemmed jean shorts. Most common amongst males 33-58 who work in cubicles and want to 'relax' on the 'weekends' at 'Chachkies' or 'Flingers.' Just buy some khakis for crying out loud.
White Jean Shorts--what kind of personal statement are you trying to make?
Midget Porn--I could deal with the occasional clip of midget porn, you know--midget girl giving a standing BJ. But something about two midgets having sex gives me the creeps. Although it does make my cock look massive in comparison.
Spam--Is it tuna, is it ham? Who knows? Hey lets feed it to the blind kid.
Girls Who Think They're Cool Because They Do Cocaine--Sure, if by cool you mean, skinny, neurotic, flaky, bitches with nosebleeds. Yeah, they're cool.
Adult Braces--If you're teeth aren't perfect by age thirty, you should just learn to live with it. Believe me, whatever contest you think you're going to win, or guy you're trying to get to fall in love with you isn't going to make up for the fact that you can't go to your kids violin recital because you have to get your new braces tightened. And yes, those kids are laughing at you, in case you were wondering.