Signs You Are Not a Hockey Player(LHawk and Source2)

-You wear your favorite team jersey to a hockey game even if your team isn’t playing

-You have all the best gear, but you still have the fewest points on the team

-You have to ask how to take a slap shot

-You have never pissed in your jockstrap to stay warm when playing in an outdoor rink

-You don't enjoy street hockey

-You dump the puck in during Mens League

-At any point in your life you say, ‘that guy should cut his hair’

-You have sympathy when a ref takes a slapper to the back of the leg, instead of just saying ’he shouldn’t have been standing there’

-You own a professional jersey with your name on the back (could have first name too)

-You still rap tape around you skate after rapping your laces around them too

-You wear a face mask and mouth guard in men’s league

-At any point during a game, you have to ask what that call was

-Duct tape a suitable tape for your shin pads, or stick for that matter

-You have one of those hockey bags that are on wheels or they turn into a backpack like a fucking transformer

-You have the NBA package

-You don't own Wayne Gretzky's Above and Beyond